the miracle's still in progress , but this time it WILL b completed!

LIFE JUS SEEMS TO COME AT YA SO FAST SOMETIMES IT ALL JUS FEELS LIKE A DREAM . IF U CHOOSE TO DREAM.... DREAM BIG . KEEP FAITH AND PRESAVERE AND YER DREAMS WILL COME TRUE . REALITY WILL CATCH UP TO U BUT IF U DREAM STRONG U STAY STRONG . U SLIP , AND U FALL B UT U GET BACK UP AND U STAND TALL . AND ONCE U'VE REACHED THE STARS U SEE IT WAS WORTH IT ALL . WORTH ALL THE PAIN , TIME AND STRESS , AND WOULDN'T SETTLE FOR NUTTIN LESS . KEEP GOD INSIDE YER HEART AND U WILL NEVER FALL APART . YEAH , U MIGHT FALL DOWN AND CRACK BUT U WILL WALK AGAIN U WILL NOT BRAKE YER BACK . PEOPLE COME AND PEOPLE GO BUT WHO EVER IS TRUE U WILL ALWAYS KNOW . KEEP DREAMIN , KEEP REACHIN , KEEP STRIVIN , KEEP SURVIVIN . THANK GOD FOR ANOTHER DAY AND MAKE YER OWN WAY . DREAM ON ............................................. YEAH.... I CAN RYME A LIL BIT ! ALEAHA . check out more of my stuff on my my space page at myspace.com/lemmefindout...

 i must addmit it though .... twas this boi NOT my bruttt in law .............. i'd hit that ! lmao !
by the way ............ i'm pimpin'm out ladies ........ any takers ? lmao !

look at my babies ! aint dey jus so tweet ? 

ok i'm jus a lil upset here . i messed up a couple (almost) weeks ago and was honest about it . i relapsed . hey it happens to the best of us huh ? it was actually my second time . but still a far cry from the crack head status i was obtaining 2 years ago !!!?  i was honest like i said . b/c i was scared . i was scared of wut it might lead to if i didn't have some one on my side to know i was breakin and jus neede a lil extra support ?
     instead now i feel like i did the unforgivable and will never live it down . or won't b able to take the pressure and run ? no runnin away is usually not the answer but syre makes life easier to stand exept i can't take my son with me till it's all gravy . and i've promised him when i go he goes too . so ?
  i thought i was being responsible by being honest ? seems not that way now ?
i've got a new friend from work ...well , not really new but we jus started hangin tight lately . she's never used drugs and rarely drinks . a good gal . not yer average but she is happy with her life and 1 & 1/2 year old son . and i been hangin with my lil bruther in law alot too . he keeps me straight and has a damn good head on his shoulders to come from where he has and only be 23  .
   check this ....... i was even accused of havin a crush on him ?! lol !he is a pertty thang but nah , dog ....i could jus about b the boiz mom ! and he is my husbands baby brother ! eeeeewwwww ! lmao !   anyhoo , jus neede to vent some . and get some other opinions . i know my peeps jus wana see me make it and do right . and that's jus what i'm tryna do here ? uh , der ? i may drink a lil too much from time to time and i may get my brain a lil cloudy too . but there jus ways i cope .
   i also pray and God still listens and he's right there with me where evere when ever ! so i'm never alone . even sometimes it feels like i am ? my boo gets out in august . i jus hope that goes over failry smoothly with er'one ?!? i'm jus tired of stress . and stress is the last thing anyone coping with my addiction and tryna get my life back on track from nutthin........ needs ! 4 sheezy !
   i'ma post some easter pics of the kids ..... my lil brutt and ma in law for ya'll . sorry i aint been by in a while ! i guess i'll hang out a while here ! myspace does get boring @! lmao ! g'night .

2 most beautifull babies in da world . yeah , i make'm dat way !! i was blessed ! there daddy's were good for somin i guess ? lol ! but i made'm pertty ! they were jus donors . know what i mean ? lol ! thanx ya'll fuckerz ! ya'll missin da best years of yer life ! b/c they fine w/out ya ! they gona have a daddy ! er'one keep prayin . life aint great yet but it sure iz gettin better ! slowly but damn surely ! 

ok guyz b honest with me ? is there such a thing as a legitimate online job where u don't have to invest your life savings to be successfull ? i really can spell well and i'm a pretty quick typist . i have lots of smarts i just don't normally use goofing off on my blogs and stuff and i would really be willing to dedicate full heartedly to a real job omline . i've been checking out some transcriptionist jobs on monster and hot jobs . but so far , nothing ? i figured your alla mature honest group of folks round here?
i figured if i could get some really good honest advice i'd find it here ? so be real with me ? can iyt be done or is it all just fantasy ? lol ! i know many of you have wondered or are wondering right now exactly the sane thing ? lol !!! so holla back nd leeme find out wut ya know ? thanks alot . and sorry i been skippin out on ya'll . been workin and just don't fool round much like i used to ! lol ! but i will to make some money !!! LOL ! get yer mind out of the gutter ! lata ya'll .

thankz for da feed back i got .  i got the sad face b/c itz jus so frustrating !!!!! i love my son and want soooo much for us to be close . we always have had a special bond even with me missing for the periods of time i have . i want us to forever have that . but hiz mouth !!! OMG ! i have NEVER  heard such disrespect ! he useally takes it out on my mom or even his great grandma ! not kool . but itz even being aimed at me now which up till like maybe 2 weeks ago it wasn't so much .
   he jus lashes out at evryone for every thing almost ALL the time . the doctor keeps changing the medicine . itz jus not working ! i wish he didn't have to take anything !! he needs a dad ! itz got to b hard turning into a young man living w/3 women ! my hopes r my husband will make a great father figure to him once he iz back home and living a better life along w/me and kendall . ? i know he will b a great dad. itz jus gona take time for my family to trust him , us ya know with the past . and even me ! he has some proving to do . but kendall needs a dad now !
        i'm working very hard to get my life together and boy this iz all jus soo hard ! i could use as many prayers as i can get ! for me , kendall , my mom , grandma , and husband !! pleeze ! but espacially kendall and this mood thing !   thank u all sooo much !!
       OH  and i am trying to tone down my gangsta aproach ............. sorry ! i didn't realize that every one jus couldn't understand me ! i really can talk proper , do , and know how to spell ! itz jus a ebonics thang ! i have lived in the hood b4 !!! so , if ya aint been visiting b/c ya jus couldn't understand please don't let that stop u !! i'm gona talk straight 4 ya from now on , k ? i'll save the gangsta lean for myspace !!! LOL ! lata ya'll !

dis iz da kids pic took shortly after christmas . kendall gaot dat foot ball for christmas and outa all da other neat , even considerably more expensive gifts he receieved dis foot ball seem to have taken front row ! it's hardly been put down since !!! any way dis [ost is really a cry for help from ya'll out der dat migfht know how to better copoe wit da situation we goin thru now wit my son kendall ?
    he is 12 . goih on 13 !!! i know dat makes me feel so old !! but he is enterung da joyess years of puberty now ! ues whet a joy ! he informed me today he had hair growing in his crack ? and was dat normal ? LOL ! LMAO ! sorry bop boo , son , i had to do it !!!   his emotional attitude iz like wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy off da chain latley . when he's calm and in da right mind he'll addmit himself he's been a lil azz and say he jus dunno y he act like dat ? he don't under stand . thinking it was jus another medication dat was not working ? (he's adhd) my mom took him to see his doctor . who insists its more than likely simply harmones . welll , me or my mom either one r new at dis . we've never had a addolesent boy to raise or livin in da house !
    now he's runnin a fever all of a sudden not feelin good . bad headaches for da past few days along wit an at times unbearanle temper and attitude ! i need advice . fro u parents who have done this or some gfuys who have experienced what my babie's feelin ? so i can better help him , my mom , & even his poor lil self cope wit dis and make dis transition he iz goin thru as emotionally and physically as painless as possible .
i'h REALLY PROCIATE IT YA'LL !!! THANK YA SOOOO MUCH . LOOKIN FORWARD TO SOME FEED BACK ON DIS ONE FOR SHEEZY !!!!!!!!!!!!1 LATA YA'LL .

OH MY !!!!!!!!!! SOME ONE HELP ME . Y R WE WOMEN SOOO CURSED ? DAT DAMN EVE? MY MONTHLY ISN'T DUE TILL SOME DAY NEXT WEEK . BUT FOR BOUT DA PAST 5 DAYS I'VE BEEN SEVERLY BLOATED , CRAMPING , (TODAY SO BAD I WANA CRY & KEEP CHECKIN MY PANTIES !) I SNAP AT NOTHING . I DON'T EVEN LIKE ME ! 
IT'S SOOO NOT RIGHT . WE CARRY AND HAVE DA BABIES . MEN SHOULD ATLEAST HAVE TO B DA ONES TO HAVE DA PERIOD !!! IT'S DA LEAST DEY COULD DO ! DON'T YA THINK?
NOT ONLY DAT BUT ALOT OF US RAISE DA BABIES TOO ! SEEMS LIKE MEN HAVE BEEN LET OFF DA HOOK A LIL TOO LONG ! YEAH , EVE SINNED 1ST , BUT ADAM FOLLOWED !   SO Y DEY GOT IT SO EASY ? DEY GET 2 ENJOY ALL DA FUN IN DA PROCESS WHILE WE R LEFT TO PAINFULL CHIDBIRTH , SINGLE PARENTING , & BIG NASTY WEEKLY & LONGER PERIODS OF BLEEDING PROFUSELY EVERY MONTH OF OUR LIFE FOR SOMETIMES 50 YEARS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GIVE ME A BREAK ! HOLLA AT ME GURLS IF YA HEAR ME ?   PMS-ING AND IRRITATED !!!

You two are definitely related.

				Sometimes you and your mom finish each other's sentences, and sometimes you feel like you're speaking different languages. It's convenient when you know what she's thinking, but sometimes her advice is the last thing you want to hear. You and your mom are alike enough that you know exactly which buttons to push when you want to make her mad – and how sweet to be when you need money. Since she knows you so well, your mom has an advantage of her own… she probably knows just how to make you feel guilty, whether or not you've done anything wrong.